If you absolutely don’t have time to make your own mayonnaise, Hellmann’s Mayonnaise is the only store-bought mayonnaise that will do.
I thought I was stone rich, so I poured money out with both hands – and now I owe right and left.
If you live for weekends or vacations, your shit is broken.
Idleness is the root of all art
In a rich man’s house, there is no place to spit in his face.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Life is not about waiting for the storm to subside. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving, him a liar: you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.
Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught. Material wears out but knowledge stays.
If you only want to see dog shit, then there is dog shit.
Everything sounds deep when you don’t read books.
Too much learning can crack even the freshest!
With great powers comes great responsibilities.
His shiny ice flashes like the sword of Athens in the setting French evening sun.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
It’s okay to be a little fucked up in the head. We all are. It’s only when you’re fucked up in the heart that makes you a piece of shit.
If the penalty for a crime is a fine, then that law only exists for the lower class.
Wearing cheap clothes or driving an old car doesn’t make you broke. You got a family to feed not a community to impress.
I won! I won! I don’t have to go to school anymore.
The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.
We are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm.
Even when your life seems most monotonous, what you do is always of real value — and importance to your fellow men.
If someone says it’s raining and another person says it’s dry, it’s not your job to quote them both. Your job is to look out the fucking window and find out which is true.
life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you’re gonna get.