If you absolutely don’t have time to make your own mayonnaise, Hellmann’s Mayonnaise is the only store-bought mayonnaise that will do.
I want to tell people how to live spiritually. After you’ve bought all your houses and clothes, you want something bigger.
Life is like a game of chess. I don’t know how to play chess.
One of the things I can’t get my hands on is something like “Mothers’ Clubs”, where instead of reading a book and walking in nature with their babies, they sit and talk about vomit and nappies and burping with other like-minded people and get nowhere. I think it bothers me a little in the women’s area.
His shiny ice flashes like the sword of Athens in the setting French evening sun.
It’s okay to be a little fucked up in the head. We all are. It’s only when you’re fucked up in the heart that makes you a piece of shit.
If you only want to see dog shit, then there is dog shit.
life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you’re gonna get.
Isn’t it great to see so many men in bike shorts?
Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught. Material wears out but knowledge stays.
I knew we had to drive on cobblestones, but I didn’t know they had thrown them down from a helicopter.
If you live for weekends or vacations, your shit is broken.
The pill is one of the biggest advances I’ve seen.
If the heroes run and hide, who will stay and fight?
When you get as old as I am and no longer have a husband or dog, and the children have long since left home, you can sit and get a little wiser by thinking. Then it’s time to edit your memories and start looking at your life again. First come the regrets, then come the wrongs you’ve done, mistakes you’ve made – and all the things you can sit and brood over if you’re already in a bad mood. But you can also understand people and contexts in a new way.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Maintain a natural gait even if you shit your pants
A man should only work 4 hours a day so he may have time to devote himself to the arts and sciences.
I thought I was stone rich, so I poured money out with both hands – and now I owe right and left.
No matter how many grains of gold I serve you, you keep eating oatmeal, and I can’t become my problem.
With great powers comes great responsibilities.
If someone says it’s raining and another person says it’s dry, it’s not your job to quote them both. Your job is to look out the fucking window and find out which is true.
I have a small walk-in closet, and it can easily turn into a recycling museum, so I’ve also learned to sort out. When you are as old as I am, it is very important not to get sloppy and wear boring clothes.
I won! I won! I don’t have to go to school anymore.
If the penalty for a crime is a fine, then that law only exists for the lower class.