I need ammunition, not a ride.
A good breakfast can save the day.
If someone says it’s raining and another person says it’s dry, it’s not your job to quote them both. Your job is to look out the fucking window and find out which is true.
I want to tell people how to live spiritually. After you’ve bought all your houses and clothes, you want something bigger.
I won! I won! I don’t have to go to school anymore.
You have to take the wrinkles that come. And all those who get their skin sprayed and look like wounded warriors for a long time, become very little prettier, but look so sour. The smile is actually the best face-lift, I think.
No matter how many grains of gold I serve you, you keep eating oatmeal, and I can’t become my problem.
Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught. Material wears out but knowledge stays.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
The pill is one of the biggest advances I’ve seen.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, itøs probably crap.
If you absolutely don’t have time to make your own mayonnaise, Hellmann’s Mayonnaise is the only store-bought mayonnaise that will do.
A man should only work 4 hours a day so he may have time to devote himself to the arts and sciences.
We are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm.
Wearing cheap clothes or driving an old car doesn’t make you broke. You got a family to feed not a community to impress.
Life is like a game of chess. I don’t know how to play chess.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Too much learning can crack even the freshest!
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
Idleness is the root of all art
If the heroes run and hide, who will stay and fight?
One of the things I can’t get my hands on is something like “Mothers’ Clubs”, where instead of reading a book and walking in nature with their babies, they sit and talk about vomit and nappies and burping with other like-minded people and get nowhere. I think it bothers me a little in the women’s area.
I thought I was stone rich, so I poured money out with both hands – and now I owe right and left.
An amazing breathlessness arises because we fill our lives with emptiness and Facebook. In a discussion about the empty calories of Facebook, someone close to me said with great seriousness: “I have 190 friends on Facebook.” Then I replied: “Yes, but hardly one of them will pick up your coffin the day you leave here.” Why not use the time for some fewer and real friends in the real world.
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.