When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.
No matter how many grains of gold I serve you, you keep eating oatmeal, and I can’t become my problem.
I don’t think you should think too much about the fact that time is passing and you’re not a teenager anymore. Then you just get plagued and get even more wrinkles and look even more grumpy and sad.
Life is not about waiting for the storm to subside. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
I have a small walk-in closet, and it can easily turn into a recycling museum, so I’ve also learned to sort out. When you are as old as I am, it is very important not to get sloppy and wear boring clothes.
A developed country is not a place where the poor have cars. This is where the rich use public transport.
You have to take the wrinkles that come. And all those who get their skin sprayed and look like wounded warriors for a long time, become very little prettier, but look so sour. The smile is actually the best face-lift, I think.
The pill is one of the biggest advances I’ve seen.
I knew we had to drive on cobblestones, but I didn’t know they had thrown them down from a helicopter.
Lotto is a tax for stupid people. An extra tax.
We are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm.
Wearing cheap clothes or driving an old car doesn’t make you broke. You got a family to feed not a community to impress.
Isn’t it great to see so many men in bike shorts?
Everything sounds deep when you don’t read books.
In the past, we learned to cope with challenges ourselves. Today, a lot of people younger than me are not resistant to the vicissitudes and emotional challenges of life. If you’ve been told all your life that it’s the others who should spoil you and keep you free of problems, you’re probably a very sober person emotionally.
You can beat 40 scholars with one fact, but you cannot beat one idiot with 40 facts.
When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times…I learned very early in life that: ‘Without a song, the day would never end; without a song, a man ain’t got a friend; without a song, the road would never bend – without a song.’ So I keep singing a song. Goodnight. Thank you.
When you get as old as I am and no longer have a husband or dog, and the children have long since left home, you can sit and get a little wiser by thinking. Then it’s time to edit your memories and start looking at your life again. First come the regrets, then come the wrongs you’ve done, mistakes you’ve made – and all the things you can sit and brood over if you’re already in a bad mood. But you can also understand people and contexts in a new way.
Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
A good breakfast can save the day.
If you absolutely don’t have time to make your own mayonnaise, Hellmann’s Mayonnaise is the only store-bought mayonnaise that will do.
Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught. Material wears out but knowledge stays.
I won! I won! I don’t have to go to school anymore.
It’s okay to be a little fucked up in the head. We all are. It’s only when you’re fucked up in the heart that makes you a piece of shit.
Life is like a game of chess. I don’t know how to play chess.