If you only want to see dog shit, then there is dog shit.
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.
Isn’t it great to see so many men in bike shorts?
In a rain of dollar bills, anything can be done
If the heroes run and hide, who will stay and fight?
A good breakfast can save the day.
If someone says it’s raining and another person says it’s dry, it’s not your job to quote them both. Your job is to look out the fucking window and find out which is true.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, itøs probably crap.
In a rich man’s house, there is no place to spit in his face.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.
Everything sounds deep when you don’t read books.
The pill is one of the biggest advances I’ve seen.
Too much learning can crack even the freshest!
I need ammunition, not a ride.
When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer. I read comic books and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies and I was the hero in the movie. So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred times…I learned very early in life that: ‘Without a song, the day would never end; without a song, a man ain’t got a friend; without a song, the road would never bend – without a song.’ So I keep singing a song. Goodnight. Thank you.
Life is not about waiting for the storm to subside. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.
If you absolutely don’t have time to make your own mayonnaise, Hellmann’s Mayonnaise is the only store-bought mayonnaise that will do.
I won! I won! I don’t have to go to school anymore.
life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you’re gonna get.
You can beat 40 scholars with one fact, but you cannot beat one idiot with 40 facts.
His shiny ice flashes like the sword of Athens in the setting French evening sun.
When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving, him a liar: you’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.
A developed country is not a place where the poor have cars. This is where the rich use public transport.
I don’t think you should think too much about the fact that time is passing and you’re not a teenager anymore. Then you just get plagued and get even more wrinkles and look even more grumpy and sad.
Even when your life seems most monotonous, what you do is always of real value — and importance to your fellow men.